How can parents prepare children for crowds and lineups, especially if the child has special needs? In terms of what they can talk about beforehand, and what they can bring to alleviate any issues?

Planning for potential high-risk situations is essential in order to set your child up for success. If your child is generally anxious or has difficulty following directions in large crowds, the following steps can help to avoid meltdowns.Let your child know what to expect: tell them where you are going, what the environment will be like, how long you will be there etc. Give your child examples; show them pictures or drive by the location in advance.

• Set the rules! A few days prior to the event sit down with your child and review the rules and expectations. Rules should be simple, clear, easy to follow and parents should be able to back them up. Rules should tell your child what to do, instead of what not to do. For example: “Stay within reach of me so if I stretch my arms out, I can touch you,” instead of “don’t run away from me.”
• Set consequences beforehand so that you and your child are clear on what will happen if your child breaks a rule. Consequences should be simple and clear, for example, if a child is supposed to stay within arms reach of a parent, if they break the rule they will have to hold a parent’s hand for 5 minutes. Discuss the consequences a few days prior to the event and review again just before leaving for the outing. 
• Practice the rules before the day of the event. If your child generally has difficulty standing in lines. Practice going to the bank, grocery store or library with the same rules/consequences beforehand and your child will learn what to expect and how to behave.
• Have interesting activities planned for your child beforehand. Games such as eye spy or trivia can keep your child engaged during a long line or when they are feeling bored. If your child has a special comfort object, bring this along.
• Look for warning signs that your child’s anxiety is escalating. Recognizing an increase in emotion can help prevent a meltdown. Get down at your child’s level and state, “I see that you are starting to feel anxious, let’s take a break”. Take you child for a break in a quiet area or encourage them to practice coping strategies (deep breathes, counting to 10 etc.).
• Model your expectations of good behaviour. If you act impatient or frustrated, child your will likely respond the same way.
• Reward good behaviour! Think about what would encourage your child to behave well. Praise your child for behaving well (following direction, staying calm), give them attention for behaving appropriately. Parents might want to consider reward points or coupons for the day, which can be collected and used towards a prize or fun activity at the end of the event (going on a ride, getting a poster, choosing an activity to do).

 What should a parent do if a child gets upset or anxious at an event where they can't leave? 

 The best thing parents can do prior to an event is to plan and set expectations and consequences for behaviour. However, if a child gets upset or anxious while on an outing the first step is to provide reassurance and comfort while reinforcing the expectations. If a child is “acting out” for attention, it is recommend that parents ignore the behaviour and try to re-direct the child to engage in a game or activity. Simply ignoring small behaviours can often work best to decrease behaviours such as whining, refusal to walk, etc. If a child continues to act out, taking a short break with them may be enough to help them to regroup. Holding a child close for a few moments can help de-escalate their behaviours and calm them down. If necessary it is recommended parents walk their child to a quiet place (the car or washroom if necessary) to calm down away from the crowd.

 At what point should parents be prepared to leave an event?

 It is not recommended that parents leave events due to a child’s behaviours. Leaving events will usually reinforce a child’s negative behaviours, which will often lead to an increase in these behaviours in the future. Even if a child is anxious, being there to support them throughout the experience and allowing them to recognize they can face their worries, can decrease their anxiety in the future. If behaviours escalate to a point that parents need to remove themselves from an environment, it is recommended that parents take a short break rather than leaving altogether.

 Can parents help a child become less sensitive to these situations? How?

 Yes, parents can definitely help a child become less sensitive to these situations! Preparing a child in advance for events, setting rules and consequences and practicing with small events can help set a child up for success. Children must experience frustration, worry and apprehension in order to gain the confidence that they can overcome these feelings.