“One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.”- Nelson Mandela

 “No matter what the situation, remind yourself “I have a choice.” – Deepak Chopra

 “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin

In our society, we place a lot of emphasis and time in our education system in order to prepare our children for the future. We allocate time to homework, studying and reviewing to ensure that children are prepared for classroom curriculum in the hope that this will lead to a ‘successful’ future. This blog is not aiming to undermine the benefits of the education system but aspires to challenge parents to recognize the importance and value in teaching children how to seek their own happiness and stay positive. If our children spend approximately 1000 hours a year learning curriculum, how much time should we spend teaching them how to stay positive despite the challenges that life may bring?

Here are a few tips that parents can use to model and encourage positive thinking. If they seem overwhelming, try focusing on 1 tip per week and see if you notice a difference!

• Eat regularly, sleep well and exercise- Parents can be the most influential people in their child’s life. Model the importance of eating regularly, getting enough sleep and exercising. Encourage family activities that focus on these goals such as: cooking a healthy meal together once a week, establishing a consistent bedtime routine (limiting technology before bedtime), and weekly family outing or outdoor physical activities. Self-care models for your child that you recognize the importance of your own health, whether physical, emotional or spiritual. Taking opportunities for self-care will also better prepare parents to manage stressful life circumstances with greater ease.
• Take time to look for the positive- At bedtime or dinnertime, encourage each member of your family to share something positive about their day. This gives children the skills to find something affirming about their day and can have a dramatic affect on improving mood. Parents are also encouraged to highlight the positives in their child’s behaviour. Research shows that when we give praise and attention to behaviours…we see them more often. Give your child praise, and describe exactly what you like about their behaviour!
• Start your day in a positive way- Having a good morning generally means that you prepare yourself and your children for a good day. Make sure to plan ahead as much as possible to avoid rushing in the mornings. Using a reward chart to outline routines in the morning is also a helpful way to motivate your child to follow morning routines and responsibilities with minimal resistance. Spice up mornings with fun and uplifting music, have conversations and even try introducing a quote of the day each morning (kids can help think of these too!).
• Recognize what we can and can’t control. Let things go!- We all focus on the stresses and messes too often! Help your children develop their problem solving skills by asking them “ Can we control this? Can we change it?” If the answer is “yes”, then help your children problem-solve different solutions. Solutions may be speaking to a teacher, asking for help, sharing their feelings with a friend…etc. If the answer to the above questions are “no,” then children have to learn to express their feelings and then let things go. Come up with a list of different strategies to help children let their stresses and worries go. Strategies such as: writing a story, colouring, listening to music, going for a walk etc. are all helpful tools to deal with stress. Encourage kids to engage in optimistic thinking such as, “ I feel sad because… but tomorrow is a new day and I’m going to start fresh.”
• Express gratitude about the things we have!- Each weekend pick a day and encourage your family to list 5 things that they are grateful for. Giving thanks for all that we have rather than what we want or wish was different is a powerful way to begin to experience events in our lives in a new light!
• Allowing Your Child Choice- Providing children with daily opportunities to make to choices is an important part of their development and fosters a lifelong skill. Below are some benefits for allowing children to make some of their own choices!
• A feeling of control: The feeling of being in control of one’s life is part of human nature. Giving children the feeling that they are in control fosters a sense of independence, teaching them to think for themselves. It can also help to build self-esteem and sends a message of mutual respect from the parent. Young children can be offered two choices. This way you are keeping the choices minimal to decrease confusion and controlling the scenario while still providing choice. For example, when it is snack time you can say, “Would you prefer apple slices or crackers and cheese for snack?”
• Accepting responsibility: When children have been provided with the opportunity to make a choice for themselves they learn that there are consequences to their decisions, good and bad. Furthermore, this will help a child learn to accept responsibility for the choices they make and consequences associated with those choices.
• Reduces conflict: Most of a child’s day is directed by adults, therefore providing choice allows a child to gain independence within their day and can reduce frustration that is associated with receiving constant direction.